Kom Bei! (Cheers)

The reason behind why I went to Korea this summer was to learn about the place where I was born.  Not only was I born there, but somewhere amidst the millions of people at least two people hold a secret about me, that I may never know.  I tried IVF, and it was not successful.  It not only is a lot less expensive there in Korea, but I thought it would be a pretty neat story to share with our child, that they were conceived in the same country that I was born in.  Reagan's dad used to have a business called, TOM.  It stands for Try Once More.  That is what my motto is going to be.  If it doesn't work out, then at least we can say that we tried.  Also, who knows what will happen.  That's the great thing about life, there are surprises, pitfalls, and priceless moments that can all be stepping stones to what lies ahead.

My goal was not to find my birth parents, but to gain a better understanding of the culture and its people.  I feel that I did attain my goal.  I didn't come back with a baby or babies, but I did come back with a wealth of knowledge and friends that will last a lifetime.  I have never made so many connections with people in such a short time.  The friends that I made, are not people just passing by, but friends I know I will have for a very long time.   

Below are some amazing stories that I will leave you with.  Part of the time in Korea, of living the true Korean lifestyle, is watching television shows in Korean each night and having no idea what they are saying. But relying heavily on body language and looking to the Hong's for translations. The other night, we watched a movie, all in Korean.  It was about an American Olympic Skier from Vail, Colorado.  Junggi said I would connect with the movie.  I didn't understand until I watched further.  The man in the movie is a Korean adoptee, just like me.  Like me, he was adopted when he was three.  He was said to have been abandoned in a market, like I was, but instead he found out thirty years later that he was actually lost in the busy streets of Busan.  His goal was to find his birth parents.  By becoming a star, he thought he would have a better chance of finding them.  Because of his fame, hundreds of people came forward, all claiming to be his birth parents.  In the end, he finally found his birth parents, due to a DNA search. His mother lost him in the market and his dad looked endlessly around all of the orphanages.  It was a sad story, with a very good ending. 

Here is a quick link to a trailer for his movie, Lost and Found.  

Toby Dawson: Lost and Found Trailer

This story is pretty amazing as well.  This guy not only found his birth parents, but found out he had a twin.  Here is the link to watch a quick segment of his.  

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/akadan/aka-dan-a-korean-adoptee-documentary-project?play=1&ref=search

Finally, here is a link to my first day here in America.  Some people refer to it as the, "Gotcha Day."  It is the year 1985, in Portland, Oregon, with my forever family.  

My Adoption Day

Picture taken at the orphanage. 

The only reason why I would ever want to meet my birth parents is to of course, see what they look like and act like, but to relieve them of any stress they may have involving giving me up for adoption.  I can't say whether they are upset or not, but they need to rest in peace knowing that I have had a good life here in America. By giving me up, I have had the chance to be loved and love family and friends, that I could not have had in Korea.  

Thank you for all of your emails, texts, phone calls, and post responses!  This is the end of this chapter in my life, but the story still goes on.  I will keep you updated on my next trip to Korea or hopefully good news in the making!  I love you and hope to see you all soon!  

Kom Bei (Cheers) to family and friends!

  

Goodbye, Korea!

Today was my last day in Korea. I started the day off by meeting up with Kyhun and Eun Bi. They are students that I tutored. When I first met, Kyhun, he said, "Hello, how are you?" I responded and asked how he was. He told me right away that him and his girlfriend were having troubles. I knew right away he carries his heart on his sleeve. Throughout the meetings I had with him we discussed how he was doing in his relationship. It surprised me how open and honest he was. This week him and his girlfriend broke up. I wish I could find him someone to make him as happy as he deserves. I told him that he is a hopeless romantic. Eun Bi, is the sweetest and the hardest working girl I have ever met. They both love tennis, but won't allow themselves to play because they need to study. I hope only the best for them. I told them both to come and visit Oregon and I would take good care of them. I hope they do, so you can all meet them and see how truly wonderful they really are.

We then went out to lunch at the college. I took pictures of all three dishes because they were all so different. Koreans share a lot of their meals. Most of the time, we order one dish and all share it. Some restaurants won't serve you, if you are alone. We all shared what we ordered. 

This is Naengkongguksu. It's another cold noodle dish. If you lived or even visited you would know why they eat cold noodles. It feels good to eat it in this hot, hot weather. I now know why some Asian countries invented the fan. 

This is samgeopsol (I know I butchered that word). Sliced and grilled pork. Sometimes served with lettuce.

I ordered a chicken noodle dish. It was very hot and very tasty!

For our last meal at the Hong's we were in a hurry so we ordered "Chinese takeout." Remember, Koreans have their own version of Chinese food. I thought for sure it would take at least forty minutes to get there. It arrived in ten minutes, piping hot. It comes in nice bowls and banchan. The total cost was 12,000 won. There is no cost for delivery and no tipping. When you are finished, you leave the dishes, dirty or clean, out in the hallway and they will come and pick it up. 

We ordered two bowls. They were both huge! 

Jajamin again! I am growing to really enjoy this dish! 

Seafood soup, which I will never grow accustomed to. 

Soo and the girls brought me to the airport. It was so sad to say goodbye. I only wish I could pack them up in my carry on. I miss them already. I couldn't have stayed anywhere else and felt so cared for in a country so far away. 

We are about to board the plane. It is 9:04pm on Tuesday. I will arrive in Hawaii at 12:00pm on Tuesday. There's time traveling for you! I know this is the final leg of my trip, but I have to tell you about an amazing adoption reunion! I love you all and cannot wait to see you! 

On our way to the Incheon Airport! 

You have been good to me, Korea, but I need to go back to Oregon, where I belong. 

The Place I Called Home This Summer

I should have taken pictures of the apartment I have been living at when I first got here in July. Thanks to my friend, Randi, for inquiring about the Hong's residence, to remind me to do so! Like I said before, most families in Seoul live in apartments due to Seoul's high population. Prices for apartments can be compared to New York City. However, it is said studio apartments can be more affordable. 

To the right and left are cupboards for more shoes. 

The tall white machine to the right is an air conditioner that talks to you. It's made from Samsung, of course! It seems like all electronics are either Samsung or LG. A lot of people who actually have a car here, drive (what seems like) Kia's or Hyundai's. Same with Okinawa. There were a lot of Toyota's and Honda's. The interesting thing was, the cars looked like the ones in the US, but have completely different names on the back. 

Every home I have been into has a porch in each room. I am not sure why. On the porch is a dehumidifier. I have never seen or used one, until I got here. 

Each kitchen has a water purifier and kimchi refrigerator. 

Most Koreans line dry their clothing. However, the Hong's were accustomed to American living, since they lived in Oregon for the past ten years. 

The Hong's are a family of musicians. Junggi sings and plays the guitar. Soo plays the cello, piano, and violin. Jenna plays the piano and violin. Yuna is just a toddler, we will see what happens! 

Jenna's bedroom. I stayed on the bottom bunk and she slept on the top! :) 

View from the back window. It's harder to find apartments with such a nice view. The park and trails behind the apartment are beautiful and peaceful. 

View from the front. 

Tennis court and soccer field. 

Yuna loves washing her hands. If she could wash them all day, I think she would. 

This morning I had Korean grapes for the first time. They are very large. You don't eat the skin because its so thick. The grapes here taste like candy. They are very sweet. 

For lunch, Soo, made japchae and she also made fresh milk bread. I am going to get the recipe from her! I hope I can make it as good as she does. 

Then we went out for my favorite dessert, berry pabingsu. Like bibimbap, you have a nice presentation and then you mix it all together. I don't know of any place in Oregon that makes this dessert. If you find a place, I will drive there! 

We took a piece of chocolate cake home from the cafe we had dessert at. 

I have been spoiled here. Soo is an amazing cook. She made vegetable lasagna and homemade rolls. MiYoung came for dinner. Junggi had to work on some of the baseball players shoulders. This was the first dinner we didn't have banchan (side dishes). Then, MiYoung, brought out some jalapeños in a bowl. So then we had our banchan. I don't think a meal is a meal without it here. 

Here is the chocolate cake from Coco Bruni and some chewy desserts that MiYoung brought back from Turkey. 

I forgot to mention Korean ages here. Most everyone here in Korea is considered to be one when they are born. Every Korean shares the same birthday, which is the Asian New Year. That is when everyone turns a year older. For legal purposes they use their actual birthdate. So many people will ask you how old you are, right away so they know how to address you. When I state my age, they will ask if it is my Korean age or legal age.

Also, I have been asked what blood type I am. I honestly didn't know until I asked at the fertility clinic. When they asked me first, what blood type I was, I told them I didn't know. They looked at me surprised that I didn't have a clue. Apparently, some Koreans believe if you are type A, you are conservative, loyal, and stubborn. Type B or B+ people are animal loving, passionate, and forgetful. AB types are rational, empathetic, and indecisive. Type O's are ambitious, athletic, and arrogant. These are of course superstitions. Some Koreans take blood types seriously. There are a lot more traits for each blood type. I just named a few positive and one negative for each one. Guess which one I am? If you guessed Type B, you were right! I am an animal lover! Here is a picture of my little furry ones, if you haven't met them already. 

They are best friends. 

One more off the topic subject is the use of stamps. Every Korean citizen has their own special stamp that is used on all official documents. I watched a lady stamp a whole binder of pages. I think you might need to have the official stamp without any copies of it. I never noticed until now, all of my adoption papers from Korea have stamps next to the the signer's name. 

This is a picture of some authors of a dissertation that was given to Junggi as a gift from one of his students. 

Yuna wanted me to share a message with you all...GO DUCKS!

This is my last night here. It is bittersweet. I am going to miss the Hong family, but am ready to get back to Oregon! I am leaving at 10:00 p.m. tomorrow night and arriving in Portland, with a two hour layover in Hawaii, at the same time  and day that I left. Even though the flight is over 16 hours! Crazy! I am not excited for the jet lag! See you soon!

Saranghae (I love you!) 

A Lesson From Jenna Hong

In Korea, instead of using first names to call each other by, Korean people use certain names according to their age in relationship to the other person. Jenna, is here to help explain the names to call each other by...applause please (in her request).

Female or male only...

Younger girl to an older girl: Unie (언니)

Older girl to a younger girl: dongsaeng (동생)

Younger girl to an older boy:  Oppa (오빠) 

   

Older girl to a younger boy: namdongsaeng (남 동생)

Younger boy to an older girl: nuna (누나)

Older boy to a younger girl: yeodongsaeng (여 동생)

Younger boy to an older boy: hyunga (형아)

Older boy to a younger boy: dongsaeng (동생)

Mother's side...

Aunt: Eemo (이모)

Uncle: Eemoboo (이모부)

Grandma: Waehalmoni (외 할머니)

Grandpa: Waehalapoji (외 할아버지)

Father's side...

Aunt: Gomo (고모)

Uncle: Gomoboo (고모부)

Grandma: Halmoni (할머니)

Grandpa: Halapoji (할아버지)

Male or Female...

Mom: Oma (엄마)

Dad: Appa (아빠)

To an older woman: ajumma (아줌마), but most women don't want to be considered "old" so you call them, Emo. 

To an older man: ajusshi (아저씨)

I woke up to Jenna and Yuna playing, Church. Here is a video of Jenna playing the piano to a song she made up. 

http://youtu.be/WS2wc5PGpfE

The Variety Hour

There are so many things that I want to share with you about the culture here and what we have been up to. Forgive me if I jump around from subject to subject. 

First of all, these are not my pictures of Okinawa. On the way to Korea I sat next to a man who shared his pictures of the Okinawan beaches. I was disappointed that I didn't take better pictures myself, to show you how majestic Okinawan sunsets really are. So I asked him to send them to me. 

This weekend I traveled with the Hong's to countryside and stayed for one night. Junggi had a seminar on Saturday evening. While Junggi spoke, we waited in our room until he finished. Here are some pictures of the place we stayed at. There is no furniture, because the living quarters are usually shared by many people. The one next door to us had at least fifteen people sleeping on the floor.

Each kitchen has a rice cooker. To the left is the dining table that sits low to the ground when it is folded out. A long time ago and still today, a lot of homes had ondol flooring. Ondol, is a heated flooring system that warmed the homes during the harsh winters. That is why so many people sleep and eat on the floor. In the old times, rooms were multipurpose. They could be the living room, dining room, and bedroom with just a slight move in furniture. 

Here is the bed that I set up for myself. 

There is an area at the front door in each home and some traditional Korean restaurants, that sits slightly below to leave your shoes. 

When the seminar finished Junggi came back to our cabin and we waited until dinner was ready. One of Junggi's college students came and got us and we walked towards a group of 22 men and one woman. As we walked up to the outdoor picnic area, all of them stood up, like we were the wedding party going down the aisle. They all bowed and stood until we took our seats. Since, Junggi is their professor, he is shown a lot more respect. It is astonishing how different they treat the professors here. I don't ever remember going on a retreat with my professors or eating dinner with them either. 

For dinner we had galbi. Galbi is barbecued meat. You can eat it in a lettuce wrap or alone. Each meal comes with banchan, which are side dishes. I am going to miss that part of eating in Korea. 

It is customary to pour for the other person. If you are younger then you pour with two hands. As you can see in the picture above the guy to the right is using both hands. But so is the man to the left. When you receive something, and you are younger, you use two hands as well. I am guessing they are the same age and by the two of them using both hands it shows more respect. That is my thought, you can tell me if I am wrong. If you are the older person giving or receiving you can use one hand. Also, if you are younger you face away from your superior when drinking. But with friends all rules can be tossed to the side. 

They are giving cheers, in Korean "kom bei," after someone's speech. Each person, including myself gave a speech. I was completely thrown off that I was to give one. My speech sounded more like a wedding toast. At the end of my awkward speech, I ended it with, "Cheers to good friends, family, and love." I was so embarrassed by everything I said. 

Here is a quick video of all of his students and someone's speech. I had no idea what anyone was saying the whole time. Next to Junggi is a guy I met who looks like he is in middle school, but he's a medical student! Are the college students looking younger these days or am I just getting old?

http://youtu.be/LyD5EoQuHuQ

The night before we left, we went out to Korean fried chicken. I know I have talked about my self proclaimed love for the chicken here, but this restaurant tops all of the other ones I have tried by far. I don't ever order it in the states, but if we had it back at home, I would become a different person in size. And not in a good way. The sauce is sweet and spicy. I wish I could recreate it!

There were mostly women at the restaurant eating with their kids. I guess many of the men work so late that women are left at dinner time by themselves. At night you can see restaurants full of business men eating and drinking together. It is apparently the culture to not only stay late at work but also end the night by having dinner with your coworkers. 

I have observed a lot of the older men, ajusshis, hang out in large groups together. Same with the older women, ajummas. The convenient stores have picnic tables set up outside of their store. Many times at night, I will see large groups of men drinking and eating outside of the store. The man I got the pictures from said he saw a large group of ajummas walking towards him on the road. He didn't get out of the way fast enough and was knocked off of his feet and thrown to the side. The lady looked at him and said, "So soddy (sorry)," smiirked and walked away. He is not a small man by any means, but he said the older women are very strong here. I believe it. Some of the women look like they are carrying small houses on their backs. It is said, some of the deepest divers and best fisher's are the older women from Korea. 

On Saturday morning, I went back to the hospital because I was left with too many unanswered questions. Some of the questions I asked were: What do you think went wrong? Was there anything I could have done to change the results? How can I prepare for next time? What would be the procedure, since I have three frozen embryos, for round two? Dr. Lee said it wasn't my fault and many people fail the first time trying. She said I couldn't have done anything different and the next time would only cost $1,000. I told her I might be able to come back during my winter vacation. She prescribed me all of the medication I need to take before I come back so I won't need to stay as long. She believes she can get it done within one week. I hope it doesn't come down to me going again. But if it does at least I won't have to do all of the shots again and it costs a lot less. 

My nurse to the left, who you already met, and Dr. Lee to the right. I was in good hands. 

After my appointment, I came home and Soo made bibimbap. Which means mixed rice. 

It is served like this and then you can add some spicy sauce, if you want, and mix it all up. 

Yum, yum! I'm hungry, hungry, hungry for some bibimbap! (From a korean children's book.)

Today is Sunday! Only two more days until I go home! I have been so grateful for the Hong's care for me, I will miss them. But I will be happy to go home! 

It's bedtime on Saturday for you right now! So good night and pleasant dreams!